Paradise Lost, Purpose Gained

From pro-athlete to lawyer: How a life-changing accident completely changed my trajectory

Me trying to break through a tackle in my pro rugby debut (captured by Deon Van Der Merwe)

I had become that which I despised the most — mediocre. Just another blip on the continuum of time and space. I would die irrelevant, unremarkable, unremembered, disenchanted with existence but worst of all, filled with regret. Regret for the hours I could’ve spent training and didn’t. Somehow, at the same time though, regret for the hours I did spend training but could’ve been partying or chasing girls. Regret for having turned down multiple ivy league universities to chase a pipedream. At least that’s what it felt like now. My “dream” had been little more than the ridiculous fantasy of a juvenile.

Yes, I pitied myself and felt even more pathetic for doing so. I who had never known depression, anxiety or any sort of fear for the future was now staring into the gaping maw of my worst nightmare: insignificance; and quite frankly, it was terrifying. You’re reading this though, which means I’m still here and that there was a silver lining somewhere. This is my story.

Built Different

I’ve always known that I was exceptional — not necessarily in a good or a bad way but simply that: an exception. We all have our narratives, the subjective phantoms that we grasp at…